How do I know what I need?
Will I have to give up something to get it?
L from Boston
Dear L from Boston,
Before I looked at your chart, I thought about what planet I would look at and I decided on the Moon. Your question felt to me like an emotional one and the Moon has a lot to say about needs, especially emotional ones. So a Moon can show what you need, or what feels comfortable, but your question is more about How do you know what you need, and that gets into self awareness. It is nice to get answers, like concrete answers to a question like this, so I thought what is there in the world which will be the sign posts along the path and I think in your case this is your visual art.
So when I opened your chart and saw Moon in the placement of fun and creativity, and in a strong and bold earth sign, this verified to me the value for you of seeing your own artwork in your hands. It is similar to earning money and having gold coins in your apron pocket, but more personal.
In your chart your Moon is on one hand so rock solid and fun and reliable and on the other hand completely etherial and not of this world. This is Moon in opposition to Neptune. It’s a little like that question what is heavier, a pound of feathers or a pound of peat moss. This is the image I get for your creative and emotional process, that you are able to take a pound of feathers (or a pound of happiness, sadness, fear and using alchemy convert this into an object) Now that’s magic! But how does it happen and do you need it and How do you know what you need?
My impression is you need safety to be the creative person you are (Moon in the 5th) but keep your creative process personal, contained and private. It seems that your creative experience is very spiritual and admirably fragile (Moon opposed Neptune), and plays a crucial role in your self esteem (Uranus opposed Chiron, Neptune being Chiron’s dispositor). Therefore, the way you make creative decisions is most likely one of your greatest treasures so this I would guard with my life.
I would experiment with letting your work be in the public light, while keeping your self more removed. This may look like your work is at an exposition and you are not, while you are at your home with a few safe and treasured colleagues. With the North Node in Aries on the nadir it may be that being in public draws you away from nesting.
I would concentrate on creating a salon kind of room at home where a hand select few approved loving friends are invited. I would make sure to hang mirrors where you can see yourself from your favorite chair. Ideally in the summer I would meet in a circle around a fire.
But most importantly I would give up on, re-route or at least bring some awareness to the role perfectionism plays in your identity. In short, honor privacy and toss perfectionism. This will give you the quiet to know what you need. I can see options in what a chart may suggest, but you are the person with the chart’s heart and blood and I think quiet and privacy is the ticket to the environment in which you will know how you know what you will need.