A reader writes in:
I’ve been living in agony since April 2004, everything was ripped from me.
I’ve tried to go this on my own for so very long, but it just gets worse and worse.
I need HELP! —Barbara
You are a Taurus with Moon in Scorpio, the way to use this to your advantage is to be the survivor, because of all the signs, Taurus and Scorpio have more staying power than is usually given to one person, and you can use this especially today, this year, this month — now.
Four years is a long long time to be in agony. I am not sure of your situation, but from the way you write it feels unbearable. If there is a day to not bear it any more, today is the day. If you need a sign from the universe, look to nature, it is growing and changing. Today on your birthday no matter what else is going on, take a walk and find one little leaf and think of the cycles that plant has been through. Let this be the sign that you have cycles too. You are ready for a big new change. When you have a New Moon on your own birthday, the universe is smiling at you nudging you, a Taurus bull, to a new cycle. The world really is different now.
As for the astrology, at that time in April 2004, Saturn was at the top of your chart and you might have had had immense responsibilities, little resources and a lot of pain. There were eclipses which highlighted untruth and loss and it did not feel fair.
Today is four years later. It is all different now and the sky can prove it. There are six planets in earth signs — now that’s birthday presents! Moon, Venus, Sun, Saturn, Pluto and Jupiter and they are all on your side.
Today is the day to start something new, plant a seed, a real or symbolic one and most importantly if you can please stay away from any negative drama from other peoples’ lives and be true to the little sometimes shaking leaf in you.
If you feel this may be too difficult to do alone, seek the help of a trained professional and possibly work in a group. From the way your solar return birthday chart looks, Chiron, North Node and Neptune are in your Aquarian 7th house, with Chiron on the descendant making a positive aspect to Pallas. Chiron on the descendent indicates you may find a teacher or therapist who you may let help you. I believe either alone or with support, you will see the patterns of what has made it so difficult to get unstuck from the agony these past four years. From seeing the patterns you will develop a strategy to get you feeling in command of this new cycle.
Happy Birthday Again,
photo above by Deirdre Tanton