For Damsels Recycling Distress (a call for good dudes)

Before Gemini season really gets going and we are fluttering from flower to flower, here are some questions to think about before your date books get filled up. Read on if you are looking for partnership, like alright already, like you are at that point. I compiled these questions yesterday while the Moon was full to the brim at 29th degree of Scorpio. Saturn and Pluto anchored the energy in a timeless harbor. Nearly stationary Mercury, Neptune and Chiron focused awareness for damsels wanting kids and a partner on the path of transformation. Dudes: feel free to stay.

The truth about parenting and partnership is, imagine this. You are breastfeeding for the 30th day in a row and you know you have 150 days left to go. Your bottom is still an indefinable area left over from the birth experience. Your life is left breast, right breast, left breast, right breast, maybe check email, no time to write email, left breast, right breast, bath, bed, right breast, left breast. So: which guy is your soul mate in this picture? Around which guy can can you have diarrhea running down your legs and milk running out of your breasts making the whole bed a mess and you don’t care at all what he thinks of you. Personally Mr.Fantastic makes me nervous. The last I want in this situation is a guy in a suit who doesn’t want to get dirty, but that’s me.

Guys often don’t help with raising kids, the whole thing may be left to us, and still they, I mean guys, want to tell us what to do. Which guy listens to your intuition and doesn’t dominate it? Which guy looks to you for direction, which guy honors matriarchy, where woman’s intuition is holy?

Which guy is going to leave and go either on a business trip or even on a vacation? Guys do outrageous things when the female archetype is stressed. Which guy would leave and go surfing and not help. Which guy will go to PTA meetings and not flirt with the youngest mother in the room? They do this!

Being in love with Mr.Fantastic is in my opinion a way to drive yourself crazy. Can you relax and know he will be around for you? Which guy will build a diaper station — and NOT need attention for it for the next 5 years. Which guy makes a Sunday brunch and lets you have coffee in bed?

I picture with Mr.Fantastic you would be picking up his dry cleaning. We know he is sexy, I swear this goes away after a while. What is left when that is gone? Is he nice? Is he caught in the web of somewhere else, his family or his mom? Can he put someone before himself — ever? Which guy is going to stay home with the kids while you go away a few weeks and work on your creative project?

If you looking for a boyfriend to fill a gap for today, this is fine if you don’t care what happens in the future. Who knows maybe in 5 – 6 years you might choose an open relationship. Maybe you will meet Mr.Fantastic again for some exciting rounds of sex and you can admire him in his suit. I imagine he will still be be the same. Thank god you will have a partner to go back to, someone more humble who is just there holding space for you. Which guy can hold space open for you? Do you feel safe there?

The way we can be in love with Mr.Fantastic, it makes me nervous that we might let him do whatever he wants just so he stays around or lets us stay around. This dynamic gets hard to even out if it goes on for a while.

So, well, thats what I think now — if this is too tough, just tell me — and guys feel free to rant.

And on this note, get out your calenders and unless you like how scratch-outs look, write all the appointments dates and picnic parties in pencil not pen. Mercury is going retrograde, a good time for penciling in those old dates who just scored points on the rhetorical question quiz.

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